I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
