Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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