You just made me feel so damn special
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
