I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
