I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Are we still banned from the library?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
