My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
