you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
