i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize