ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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