Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
