he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
