Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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