I puked a lego.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
