Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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