Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All the doctor said was why
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
