How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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