That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
