You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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