Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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