Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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