Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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