The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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