Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
