You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
