New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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