I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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