# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize