i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I want a musical about memes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
