We're facebook friends in real life
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
