talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
