I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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