after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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