You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
