just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
