Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
