i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
