let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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