i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I could fuck to npr.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
