We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it was like eating out sand paper
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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