I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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