she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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