Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
