chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
