i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
