We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
