creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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