they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
