hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
