Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
