batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
