youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
