she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
