Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im holly from the hills drunk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
