You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
