i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
