WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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