i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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