Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
