i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When did angry sex become our thing?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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