dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
